On the spur of the moment I had ducked into the local flaky shop.She played the tarot cards like a professional poker player and I knew she was the real deal.She saw children around me.The time went quickly.And that overseas trip that Anthony had mentioned was also touched on by Nadine.I wondered where I was going to travel to.Where could I possibly go that would feel like home?There were some common themes occurring, but none of the solid validations I wanted.I was out of my league here.My expectations were being destroyed and I was being forced to start looking at things differently.BernadetteThe session with Anthony brought up some mixed emotions, but my time with Bernadette, a popular medium and psychic in a nearby town, was even more intriguing.It went downhill immediately.She had to quickly readdress the information so it would fit and make sense.My brother has a daughter aged three.’‘Yes that must be it.It’s nothing to worry about.She’s also saying your brother is finally feeling settled.’I became a little indignant.Isn’t this reading meant to be about me?I was nearly about to have a tantrum and stamp my feet, but I let her go on, my feelings sinking.After getting a few more things wrong, she had the audacity to chastise me for not being open enough and for not talking through my dreams and thoughts more with other people.Then she called me emotionally lazy.My idea of having a reading with a medium was to be dazzled by connections with loved ones who had passed over, and be assured that they lived on, not just in my memory but on the other side too.I wasn’t expecting to be dragged over spiritual hot coals!My current ‘normal’ job wasn’t challenging enough and it was the energy I threw into the sideline projects that would make it happen.And it was through these sideline projects that I’d end up moving and living in a different place that I would love.I would love my work and love where I lived, because I’d have followed my heart.Maybe I’d got Bernadette all wrong.But to be honest, you never know what crazy things the future holds.I must admit I paid more attention when she commented that I was one of three kids and one had died very young.So she had picked up my brother Evan who had passed away and then she went one step further.No, nothing like that happened.’‘I’m seeing a little girl.She’s around your mum and she’s saying she didn’t live long enough to be born.I’m feeling like there should be a sister in between your older brother and the one who passed away.’‘I know nothing about that.’That information rocked me and I didn’t have anything further to add.After she told me off for not exercising enough and saying I should walk more, the session was over.There it was, clear as daylight.Tony mentioned that my mum had been pregnant four times and either had a miscarriage or termination.As far as I knew my mum had had neither and that should be the end of the story.But something kept gnawing away in the back of my mind.Every family has their secrets.Then again her answer could just bring my line of questions to a rather abrupt and boring end and I’d be back to where I started.So I made the phone call to my mum, took a deep breath and bravely asked the question that I didn’t want to ask.Thankfully she answered with, ‘No, of course not.I would know if something like that had happened.’ I could hear the certainty in her voice.So I breathed a sigh of relief and kept going.If we don’t verbalise our desires then how do they come true?Worth pondering over a beer on the verandah I thought.So what did I have to work with from all four mediums?If I were a normal everyday Joe off the street with no knowledge of the afterlife I’d be pretty happy with most of the readings and would take it as proof that life continues after we die.However, there was something else that I was having trouble putting my finger on.I needed to remember that I was only looking for proof that we live on in some way after we die.These mediums knew information about my family like names, situations and events that I could verify, so there were indications that there was some sort of continued existence.I’m still not convinced that this method was the best one, though, and I didn’t know why.I’m not a religious person and while I can admire some churches for the
